This last week had tested me. Unexpected encounters that produce a negative result within. Dreary days that take me deeper inside the shadow realm. Lonely nights that seem endless....and lack of sleep carries its own weight.
This is always the hardest month. Always my favorite month. but this year, it seems darker, real, honest. I am taking my shadow work to the next level by finally really looking at what it is that regularly sends me to such a negative space.
Why is it so hard for me to soften and peel back the layers. To expose that vulnerability, to bleed my truth. I am in the dark and I am bringing you in to sit with me as I process these last 34 years.
We all have pain and struggle that guides us. We all have insecurities and doubts. The sutures on my emotional wounds will not heal unless I am brave enough to step forward and accept responsibility for who I am and what I have become. I need to surrender the burdens I carry for the things I have no control over.
Control. That word. I think if only I had more control over this situation or that person then life would be easier for everyone I love.
I don't have control over myself. That is what is making life hard. For me, the people I love. I place so much blame on circumstances and other people...I give up my power to them or it and I wonder why I am so unhappy. Duh.
This is shadow work. Painful. Scary.
We go to those places deep within ourselves where we hide the face we don't want anyone to see.
Today, I want to be seen. As a woman on the verge....of change.
I am using this blog post today as a gateway to release all my fears and anxieties. Do I care what others are going to think? Yes. Of course I do.
if they run screaming from the lunatic then they were not in my life for the right reasons and I say goodbye. If they stick around and can love me despite my flaws and my past mistakes then I unconditionally accept you for who you are and love you with all my heart.
The light within me is burning so hot. I need this release so I can come forth into my higherself and begin the next 34 years as being of light.
The moon is new and with it I am recharging the intentions I set many weeks ago.
To take inspired action
Make time for healing
Connect with my spirit guides