TRANSFORMATION.
Kolleen included a small piece of original art and on the backside of this stunning and colorful piece of work is a quote that resonated so deeply I wanted to share it.
Transformation literally means going beyond your form. - Wayne Dyer
I am doing exactly that. Going beyond my form.
I have faced some serious shadows. My family has been holding up the mirror for years now. For so long I could not see what they saw. My inner monologue has been that of a teenager going through puberty. Poor me, I'm not worthy, I'm not smart enough, creative enough...the list of insecurities and put downs goes on and on. For so long I placed blame on my mom for circumstances that were beyond her control. She tried, I fought back. My husband and children have witnessed my falling to pieces. Lost in rage, resentment, fear, depression. Always fighting. The person I fought with the most. Me. I have dragged my soul through hell for years. Until recently I had to say, (and pardon my foul mouth here) adios motherfucker!
I couldn't live in my own self created hell any longer. Something had to change. I challenged myself to 365 days of yoga. Today is day 14. Two weeks in and this is where I sit. Open, vulnerable and activating my throat chakra. Speaking my truth is not easy. Letting my readers know I am far from the person I try to portray on facebook, instagram or even this blog. I have my shit. just like you do.
The only reason I am opening up about it now is because if I don't come clean and get this off my chest I may explode.
To my family: Please put down the mirrors. I can see myself pretty clearly now and I am asking in the most constructive way I know how- please forgive me for my past mistakes. For anytime I have hurt your heart know that It was not because I wanted to punish you but because I didn't think I deserved your love. My heart is wide open now and I hope you can accept my apology.
January 20th - March 20th (spring equinox) I am taking a break from facebook, blogging, instagram, etc. I am calling this my Chrysalis time.
Thank you to anyone and everyone who reads this and is present to my awakening. XO
<3
ReplyDeletehmmmmm....even more ... i love you
ReplyDeletethank YOU
for YOU
oxox
k
You are so incredibly beautiful! I love you and am here for you, sister. Aho!! Namaste!! And a giant super duper tight hug!!
ReplyDeleteHow beautiful and brave to share yourself and your story in this way. Thank you for your example and your courage to let this kind of beauty be seen- it IS beauty to witness this kind of transformation. Good luck in the chrysalis!
ReplyDelete<3
ReplyDeleteI just love this idea of going beyond one's form. This inner struggle captures what I think is so beautiful about you...that you strive for your highest self to reign, and you are vulnerable here, and still with the most strength. It is humbling to behold. May your beautiful soul find its opening both gentle and healing. Thoughts and love are with you. xo
ReplyDeleteSo gorgeous and inspiring. Thanks for sharing....
ReplyDeleteGive yourself lots of warm hugs from me <3 <3 <3...
ReplyDeleteBeautiful truth. We all have our light and shadows. Take your time to just sit and be with who you are. I had that time from August through October last year. I came out refreshed and renewed. I hope the same for you, stand up and own who you are!! xo
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