Kolleen included a small piece of original art and on the backside of this stunning and colorful piece of work is a quote that resonated so deeply I wanted to share it.
Transformation literally means going beyond your form. - Wayne Dyer
I am doing exactly that. Going beyond my form.
I have faced some serious shadows. My family has been holding up the mirror for years now. For so long I could not see what they saw. My inner monologue has been that of a teenager going through puberty. Poor me, I'm not worthy, I'm not smart enough, creative enough...the list of insecurities and put downs goes on and on. For so long I placed blame on my mom for circumstances that were beyond her control. She tried, I fought back. My husband and children have witnessed my falling to pieces. Lost in rage, resentment, fear, depression. Always fighting. The person I fought with the most. Me. I have dragged my soul through hell for years. Until recently I had to say, (and pardon my foul mouth here) adios motherfucker!
I couldn't live in my own self created hell any longer. Something had to change. I challenged myself to 365 days of yoga. Today is day 14. Two weeks in and this is where I sit. Open, vulnerable and activating my throat chakra. Speaking my truth is not easy. Letting my readers know I am far from the person I try to portray on facebook, instagram or even this blog. I have my shit. just like you do.
The only reason I am opening up about it now is because if I don't come clean and get this off my chest I may explode.
To my family: Please put down the mirrors. I can see myself pretty clearly now and I am asking in the most constructive way I know how- please forgive me for my past mistakes. For anytime I have hurt your heart know that It was not because I wanted to punish you but because I didn't think I deserved your love. My heart is wide open now and I hope you can accept my apology.
January 20th - March 20th (spring equinox) I am taking a break from facebook, blogging, instagram, etc. I am calling this my Chrysalis time.
Thank you to anyone and everyone who reads this and is present to my awakening. XO